everything

it’s always everything, isn’t it?

life has caught up with me, yet again. i find myself knee deep in holiday projects, reading multiple books, loads of laundry, picking up and dropping off two children at various events, rescuing kittens, another bout of ECT and therapy…the list goes on. and that’s only the beginning.

our youth group leader is expecting twins, so there’s been baby knitting.

{ baby aviatrix in madelinetosh sport “candlewick” }

then there was some “i’m really bored but i’m not sure what pattern to choose” knitting:

{ joelle hoverson’s “last minute knitted gifts” chevron scarf in madelinetosh sock “fig” and mama blue simple merino “algae” }

and last sunday we celebrated scout’s baptism:

i spent one week at cedars-sinai, in los angeles, before i had enough “rest”. i finished two novels: “plain truth” by jodi picoult and “carrot cake murder” by joanne fluke. i’ve moved on to chapter six of “a confident heart” by renee swope and just started reading “made to crave”.

my upcoming schedule includes everything. making crock pot apple butter, knitting one more set of baby booties and matching aviatrix hat for the second twin, attending bible study classes on tuesday mornings, taking scout to the tone chimer’s group on sundays before sunday school, three times a week electroshock therapy appointments, a financial aid meeting to hopefully help with finances for school next semester, continuing my online bible study, wrapping up a halloween swap, sewing scout’s christmas dress, making christmas gifts for the family.

well you get the idea.

it’s everything.

and i wouldn’t change it a bit.

Diva

Three seems to be the inevitable age of precious, pink cheeked, cooing babies turning into monstrous, out of control, I’m-gonna-hold-my-breath-until-I-pass-out toddlers. Ah, these will be the years to remember.

Ever since coming home with only a three-quarter finished dress I’ve gotten nothing but grief from my precocious (and questioning) little angel. I suppose the “gimme now” concept is something I’ve instilled upon her. After all, I can’t take credit for being patient. I’m the meaning of impatient.

And I guess that’s a good thing.

I’ve had quite a bit of a good thing lately. And that feels, well, good.

{She was saying “I miss Gramma”.}

{“I love daddy”.}

{“Easter Bunny, gimme chocolate.”}

Yeah. It’s all good.

In Real Life

In real life there are no commercial breaks or retakes. The most break time I get is when Scout might take a nap or when I’m reading into the wee hours of the night because the Ambien hasn’t kicked in yet.

In real life relationships are quite complicated. They are not the fairy tale stories of Disney where there’s always a happy ending. Relationships take a lot of work, effort and time. Sometimes they flourish into a loving marriage. Other times they are destroyed by the alcohol that one is addicted to.

In real life there are endless hours of being on the phone, making appointments, dropping off library books, football practice, laundry, taking the dog for a walk, grabbing the mail, going to the grocery store, and on, and on, and on.

In real life there are those rare moments. Late at night the rain is still dripping from the palm tree fronds onto the puddles that have pooled outside our bedroom window. I trace Scout’s shadow and tell her how very much I love her. I tell her how things will be ok. I tell her that I will always be there for her. I even talk to Dalton. Some nights I find myself petting the bed where he used to lay in the crook of my arm purring ever so gently to rock me back to sleep.

Yes, there are those moments when life ceases to exsist if only for a moment and I can just be. There are accomplishments, heartbreaks, bouts of laughter, shaking my hips to imaginary music, dreams, inspirations. A plethora.

I think of all of these things as I watch Scout twirl around in her big girl birthday dress, pressed and pleated.

I think of these things as I carefully make the stitches that bring a present together, something I hope the kids will enjoy unwrapping on Christmas morning.

I think of all of these things when I pet Rogue and realize she’s gotten so big in the past three weeks that we’ve had to adjust her collar one notch and start walking her with a choke chain.

It’s in everything I do.

Countdown

Last night Shawn and I were having a discussion about how Christmas really isn’t as much fun as it used to be. The holidays are much different for me as an adult as compared to being a child. And hugely different from being an adult as compared to being a child who still believed in old Saint Nick. The most stress I experienced, as a child, was figuring out what to tell Santa I wanted. My list changed daily weekly. The proverbial pony was always at the top of my list. So was a piano and a turtle. Santa must have put me on his naughty list because I never did get a pony, piano or turtle.

But things have changed. Commercialism is alive and kicking. Jem and Scout both find themselves glued to the bright colors on TV. A commercial describing the newest and best toys. Forget that they will play with them for five minutes and then all is lost. Or better yet, the boxes and wrapping paper will bring much more joy to Scout than what was in the box.

So this year we are doing a small Christmas. A Christmas about being with family and friends. A Christmas about baking, (and even eating), cookies, peanut brittle and Chex Mix. A Christmas about making gifts that will last longer than any other store bought toy. A Christmas where hot chocolate is dessert nearly every night. A Christmas where we sit together, crowded on the couch under blankets, watching “A Charlie Brown Christmas” or “A Scooby Doo Christmas”, (more of the latter than the former as it happens). A Christmas about turning on the little colored lights and watching people’s faces aglow. A Christmas where our cards are already sent. A Christmas where the tree is trimmed and stockings have already been hung.

A Christmas where I can look at my window and appreciate every second, minute, hour, day, week, month and stitch that I put into it.

A chaotic mess:

A chronological materpiece, in my humble opinion of course.

I am . that close to being done with the knit presents. In fact, I’m so close that I decided to add a couple smaller things for the kids. But you’ll just have to wait, just like them.

Hats Off To You

Maybe it’s because in the early mornings when I take Rogue out to potty, the air is crisp, clean and a bit nippy. Or maybe it’s because in the evenings, when you are just trying to take in all the stars and moon, you can see your warm breath dissipate as though it never existed. But something, and I really can’t pinpoint the exact moment, has caused me to take up the needles and knit hats.

Not one. Not two. But, three hats.

The thing about it is, I don’t wear hats. But I do now.

Now it’s {a black pepper} Golden Autumn Hat

Blue Autumn

Yarn: Rowan Felted Tweed in Duck Egg, approximately 1 3/4 skeins

Needles: US 3 and 4’s

Mods: The only modification I made on this hat was to do one repeat less than the pattern recommends. I knit four repeats and have plenty of extra room for my hair. And, of course, there is a bit of slouch. Thus, only needing three quarters of that second skein.

I’m thinking I can make a smaller version for Scout. After all, she loves hats. And she wears them. With pride.

Phoncible

Last week, while perusing yarn stashes on Ravelry, I found two skeins of Noro for a new hat, Phoncible to be exact. I’m not really a hat wearing type of gal. I don’t look too great in hats except maybe a cowboy hat. No, really. I look great wearing cowboy hats. But there was something about the playful colors and striping that snared me. And having a wool hat for the cold weather wasn’t a bad reason to start this either, know what I mean? (Anything to justify casting on something new.)

So without further ado,

Phoncible by Presentsknits

Yarn: Noro Kureyon, 2 skeins (dye lot numbers 152 and 184)

Needles: US 7 (16″ circulars and DPN’s)

Mods: I cast on 112 instead of 100  (to fit a 23″ circumference). I also started decreasing over 110 sts instead of starting at 100. This makes for a roomier hat, especially if you have a big head or lots of hair.

Personally, I think Scout looks much cuter trying it on.

Then again I think she’s cute no matter what she does. Don’t you?

ROYGBIV

I’m pretty certain that the two skeins of STR accomplished my goal. It’s as much of a rainbow as one might see in the sky after the storm has passed and the sun shines through.

Every color is visible.

Every color has meaning.

Every color has it’s place.

All one hundred and one inches of it.

A Remedy

Sage Remedy, that is.

I finished up my little sweater last night with less than desirable results. Don’t get me wrong, the sweater is absolutely gorgeous. It’s insanely soft. It’s lightweight, so it will be perfect for any type of weather Southern California can come up with. The color is both neutral and simple. But the fitting, well I found the pattern’s schematics to be a little off. Then again, I had problems with the pattern to begin with (I wasn’t sent the second, revised, pattern when I purchased it) so maybe I’m just a little disappointed with that to begin with.

However, I digress. I will wear this sweater. And if it doesn’t fit quite the way I want it to, well who cares? Really. And in the end I can always lose weight to make it fit, right? There’s looking at the sunny side of things!

{The back lace panel.}

{The front.}

{The Fan and Feather lace panel on the bodice.}

Would I knit this again? Absolutely. Would I make changes? You betchya. I would most definitely lengthen the sweater by at least two inches. (I’m 5’8″ and for me I like my sweaters to cover the waistbands on my pants/jeans.)  I would have picked up more stitches for a larger sleeve as well. I would probably knit this on larger needles, should I use the same yarn. I would most definitely use the Invernal again. Mmm, angora and merino wool. You can’t go wrong.

Nope, you can’t go wrong.

One Of Those Days

Today was just one of those days.

Where I woke up earlier than I desired, after a night of restless sleep. Where the weather was a little chillier than anticipated, yet not cold in the sense of the word. Where making lunch seemed quite futile and taxing.

Yes, it was one of those days.

But also a day where I can say I accomplished something.

Being ahead of schedule.

Being able to pat myself on the back.

Being able to get at least one thing done.

Just One Button Cardigan by Elinor Brown*

Yarn: Red Heart Eco Ways in Aquarium, approximately 1.75 skeins.

A very quick and easy knit. Something that I can see Scout wearing on her birthday, two months from tomorrow. When I was knitting this, I imagined her twirling around in a little white cotton dress. I imagine her being three. Two months and one day can make such a difference.

Now if I could just figure out what button to sew onto this little gem. Maybe choosing a button would make today not one of those days.

* Be sure to check errata on Elinor’s pattern page, I “accidentally” stumbled upon an error with the buttonhole. Nothing that you couldn’t figure out for yourselves.)

{rainy day}

Today is a rainy day.

One of those days when you lay in bed and you reminisce about those days when you went off to elementary school, lunchbox in hand. How you ran to your classroom trying not to get your Mary Jane’s wet. How recess was held inside. Games strewn over the double desks. Monopoly, Checkers, Old Maid. How you skipped in and out of the puddles on the way to the lunch room. How you watched the water drip, drip, drip. How there was a sweet scent of children, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and wet rain coats. How the YMCA counselors would open up the auditorium and all the kids would put on fake plays on the stage.

Those days are over, but they are lovely to remember. We hardly get much rain here in Southern California. Especially in the area we live in now. So when the sweet scent of water and asphalt mixed, I knew we were in for an old fashioned rain “storm”. It’s been raining all day today, so Scout and I had a rainy day inside.

I wonder. I wonder when she’s older, will she remember watching Scooby Doo with me on the couch under my comforter? Will she remember how we had “fair food”, (pizza rolls, soft pretzels with cheese, and cupcakes), and how we practiced our spelling out everything we ate? Will she remember the wonder in her eyes when she looked outside and didn’t really know why there was water falling from the sky? Will she remember the way the wind was so powerful that it shut our bedroom doors and bent the tree boughs right by the patio? Will she remember the sounds of the heavy cars splashing water onto the sidewalks? Yes, I wonder.

While side glancing a few episodes of Scooby Doo I finished up the shoulder warmer that I offered to make on Etsy. I’m happy to have it done. It wasn’t tedious. It wasn’t difficult. But it was time consuming and I am so behind on a few projects. I really need to catch up. And it seems like the rain just may allow it.

Ravelry link

Pattern by Crocheteria

Yarn: Vanna’s Choice Solid, (Charcoal Gray), almost two skeins

Needles: US 8’s and Us 9’s for the ribbing

I still have a scarf and a pair of mittens for Etsy customers to make, but I’m nearly finished and I can’t wait. (Patience, anyone?)

In the midst of our rain and knitting, Scout and I stopped to have a little snack: Pumpkin Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting,

and a little bit of reverie, (for me).

Yes. I think all of these memories are what justify my love for the rainy days we have.