Littleness

I am a little stressed. I stare at the computer screen. Words are not flowing. There is no fathomable rhythm. There is no starting point and no ending. Today is just one of those monotonous days.

You know, the type of day where you just go through the motions. I didn’t ask myself why there were so many dirty dishes in the sink this morning. I just used a little soap and washed them.

The type of day where it doesn’t really matter if the bed is made or not. I just pulled on the corners of the comforter a little and made it a bit more straight.

The type of day where I answer the phone and I really don’t have anything to say to the person on the other line. There’s very little to discuss that hasn’t been mentioned before.

There are little problems around me.

I say little because I am trying not to make a big deal of them. At least until the time comes.

But my best friend in the world is dying. Little by little. My Dalton, my sweet Dalton. The cat who thinks of bringing me pigeons, mice, rats and squirrels as offerings of love. The cat who prefers to drink out of my cup rather than a water bowl. The cat who stretches himself  as far as possible just to lick the last bit of yogurt from the cup. The cat who I’ve loved relentlessly the past 9 1/2 years. My friend. My friend who squints his eyes in love and understanding. Each day gets harder and harder. I know what I must do. It’s a matter of being prepared. I think to myself that once he’s gone a piece of me will die with him. I think it already has.

In the shadows of this situation there are others happening in which I want them to be little problems. Things that can be fixed with a little ingenuity. But they are overshadowed. School can wait a semester until funding can come through. School will always be there. Another surgery? My hopes and dreams of feeling normal. Being able to walk in the sand instead of limping to the coastline. Being able to go for a run rather than cry into a pillow. Being able to walk for hours and not have to rest for “just a little while”.

It’s the little things, isn’t it? The phone calls in the middle of day. I love you. No, I love you. I love you more. Popsicles that drip down the back side of our hands. A bowl of popcorn while watching a much loved movie. Closing the bedroom door and reading a good book. Taking a nap while my arm envelopes my baby, making us one once again. The feel of fabric long forgotten in a dusty box. A handwritten letter.

And even a little knitting. On little needles. And little yarn. And just a little progress.

Rhiannon

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Summertime

I will be the first to admit that I am not a summer lovin’ kind of gal. I much prefer the colder temps of Autumn and Winter. I especially don’t like racking up a high electric bill for central air that doesn’t really keep us cool. But there is one thing that I do appreciate about our one-hundred-and-four-you’ll-burn-your-feet-on-the-asphalt type of weather: the pool. We are lucky enough to have five different pools to choose from, (luckier when they are all clean). So today the kids and I had an little outing to the cool oasis. There were ruffled butt bikinis and a lot of brave diving and flips. And a bit of soaking up the sun, (which is very nice when you spend a week in the confines of a sterile and bleach infested hospital, again).

So I’m home and only enjoying some of the Summer. I am looking forward to the cool nights where you can walk around barefoot and not worry about blistering toes. I am looking forward to knitting with heavier, and warmer, yarns. I am looking forward to taking another college class, (still yet to be determined exactly what class). I am looking forward to warm drinks and early evenings.

In the meantime I’ll try to enjoy the Summer in the best way I know how.

SundaraUnderthesea

: With Sundara Yarns:

Dalton

: With spending extra special time with Dalton :

Couch

: And with trying my damnedest to get a still shot of my Monkey Girl and her two year old antics. :

It’s good to be home.

Cat

Nothing inspiring going on. I just happened to walk in on some heavy duty napping. This is hour 11 out of 22 hours of nap time for the day.

I don’t see you:

Okay, okay. Just one more.

Good night.

Rainy Days

It’s true, it does rain here in Southern California. Oh, maybe 5 days out of the year! (The past two years we have had a bit of a drought issue. Rain has been hard to come by.) It’s been nice. I don’t mind driving in it, although I don’t think Californians really know to drive let alone in the rain. (I’m exempt because I’m from Chicago.)

With rain comes craftiness. And other stuff. I guess I’ll start with the bad. First off, I will once again be having surgery. Next week, in fact. I have a recurring cyst that isn’t in a very nice place. The fact that it’s come back three times since the first time, during pregnancy, was enough for my OB to say I need to have surgery. It’s a small outpatient surgery. Nevertheless, the anxiety is already setting in my tummy. It will take place on Thursday afternoon, so I will be MIA. (Maybe, I can only assume that with boredom I will want to get my ass off the couch and read blogs.)

We’ve also had a bit of a financial rough patch. I can only say that’s it has somewhat been worked out, but that too has put me in a bit of a funk. It’s just an added stress that I really don’t need, you know? I mean who needs stress?

And last, I had to frog Hush three times. And then I started Rowan’s “Moonshine”, but doing an entire moss stitch sweater on 6’s isn’t very appealing. Especially after realizing today that the stitches are way too loose on 6’s. And who wants to knit row after row of moss stitch on 4’s? Yeah, um, not me.

So onto the good news, I have been doing a little sewing here and there, though I can only show you one of two projects right now, (I’ll take pix tomorrow of the second project):

valentinesdotee.jpg

This here is a Dotee doll. It’s kind of the new craze. You can check out a whole lot more on Flickr. They have tons! Anyway, this little sweet pea is going to a very good home because of a very fun swap I joined. (I know I said I wouldn’t join swaps, but I meant more along the lines of knitting/yarn/secret pal swaps. I joined a couple of writing/pen pal and sewing swaps on Swap Bot.) Anywoo, she will be accompanied by Project #2 and a special card.

I really love her cheeks:

valentinesdotee2.jpg

Amidst the rain and the crafty chaos, (you should see my house, OMG!!!), I have been trying to relax. It’s kind of hard when there’s so much to do. I’d like to say that I have been knitting a lot. But I feel like I’ve been frogging more than anything else. And I still need to start my Secret of the Stole 2. So I think I’m going to put the Rowan book away. And I’ll put the Blue SkyAlpacas Silk/Wool away. For a while at least. It’s not like I don’t have other stuff to do, you know?

Busy, busy, busy. But you know who isn’t busy?

catnap.jpg

 

Dalton. Yeah. He hasn’t been busy at all lately. He had his 8th birthday on Monday and I think he’s finally settling in. I wish I could just curl up on a perch and have no worries! Spoiled brat!