Over at Erin’s blog she started a Thirty Days of Happiness theme. I wanted to follow suit because the past few days, and I’m sure the days to come, have been and will be emotionally rough.
Inside I’ve felt anger, hopelessness, sadness, guilt and fear. Dalton’s death is still too new. Sometimes I coast through the day and I don’t give him a thought. But then I look under the coffee table as I sit on the couch to knit. He isn’t under there swatting his tail, left, right, left, right. I expect him to be sitting on the balcony soaking in the setting sun. But then I open the door and there’s nothing there but stucco and an empty herbal pot.
I need to dig down and find some happiness. I can not let his death consume me. I know that he wouldn’t want it that way. So I’m going to buckle down. I’m going to live 30 days of happiness.
The pictures all represent some type of happiness I have in my life, this minute.
It’s the end of the Summer.
I’ve been sketching and drawing in my spare time. Shawn bought me a new book and Derwent pencils, (my absolute fave).
I’ve been knitting the Rhiannon socks, but truth be told it will be slow knitting. (How hard does a sock have to be? Try knitting four charts at the same time. Mind you, they don’t all have the same row count.)
I also picked up a copy of Ysolda Teague’s new pattern from Twist Collective: the beautiful Vine Yoke Cardigan. I’m using some Cascade Ecological Wool that I had in my stash and already I’m quite pleased. I am thinking I might have someone make me some special buttons to compliment my new sweater.
And I have to say I’ve been doing quite a bit of reading. I think it’s suffice to say that it will be keeping me quite busy next week. The low down: I was born with club foot and had corrective surgery when I was a day old. Then when I was sixteen I jumped down off a fence and landed so hard on my right foot that it broke. Then I broke it again, playing softball, in 2003. The second time it didn’t heal and for the past six years I’ve had a lot of swelling, numbness and pain. I found a Dr. who can reconstruct my ankle and foot. It’s going to require a 3-5 hour surgery. A few days in the hospital. Crutches. And a lot of books. A whole lot of books to get me through 5 months in a cast/walking boot.