Goodbye, Dear Friend

RegalDalton2

DaltonSpreadEagle2

Dalton209

Dalton

Today was that day.

The one.

The one I will never forget.

Today was the day that I wrapped my Dalton into a fleece blanket and held him tight to my chest. Today was the day I whispered, I love you, I’m so sorry, I wish I could go with you, You’ll be in a better place, You are my best friend, I will never forget you…

I’ve been without him for about four hours now. I feel empty. There is a tugging in my stomach that I can only explain as grief. Pain. And a little anger.

Shawn, Scout and I just returned from the grocery store. He says I need to eat. But I don’t feel like it. There is no food in this world that sounds appealing. I feel like I’m cheating Dalton. Each moment that goes by and he is not here, I die just a little. How long will it take for me to break completely?

I don’t want to be without him. Some people say, “he was just an animal”. But, oh, he was so much more. He was my sounding board. He was the friend who knew how to read my emotions. When I was sad he’d jump in bed with me. He’d headbutt me. He’d give me a love bite on the chin, ever so gently. He knew how to make me smile. Who will make me smile like that now?

As we came out of the grocery store the sky was alight with every color ever made. The pinks, peaches, golds, blues, grays. It was hard to tell where the sky stopped and the mountains started. I knew in that moment, that’s where Dalton is.

My Dalton.

My best friend.

I miss him.

I don’t know how to do anything without him.

I just have to keep looking to that sky.

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12 thoughts on “Goodbye, Dear Friend

  1. I am so sorry for your loss. This is one time that I can truly say that I feel your pain. Our Basset child left us yesterday as well. We had had him 16 years. It will be ok. When my Cocker passed two years ago I felt the same cheating feeling that you mention. There came a night that I laid in bed for hours and had a discussion with him from beyond and he let me know that it was ok to move on and live again. I hope that day comes for you soon. Until then, I hope you can find some peace in Dalton’s memories that he left for you to enjoy.

    Take care, DK

  2. Oh no, I’m so sorry. So sad for you. I know what it is for our pets, our kitties, to be members of the family. ((hugs))

  3. Today is the first time I have read your blog. I am so sorry you have lost your beloved Dalton. Pets are truly family members and leave a hole in our lives when they die. Be sure to look to your human family and your friends as you grieve. Take care.

  4. I’m so, so sorry. I lost my special girl 6 years ago, and I still well up when I talk about her. It takes time, but it’s heartbreaking. How lucky are we to have had such special babies to love us so unconditionally and soothe our souls?

  5. As I am typing this…crying. I am so sorry!! One of my kitties had skin cancer a few weeks ago…everything is fine now but for the first time I had that thought of the day where I would have to do the right thing. It was miserable.

    My thoughts are with you and your family. I will give my pets a special hug tonight in honor of Dalton.

  6. I’m crying with you. I had to go through this in May with my dear Sam. I still miss him, even though a new puppy has come into my life. I love this oen too, but he’s not Sam. It will hurt for a long time. It hasn’t stopped for me yet.

  7. Big hugs to you today. I’m certain this is unbearable. Animal love is so encompassing in a way that is deeply personal and missed with their passing. I wish you peace.

  8. Adorable kitty. People who say “just an animal” are idiots and need slapped. I’d be happy to slap some for you. I just about love my animals just as much as my husband who I vowed to love forever and my son who is my own DNA and grew in my womb. Condolences to you and the family who I’m sure loved the kitty as well. I don’t think it ever goes away, it just gets more tolerable.

    Heather

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